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The Project Hate MCMXCIX: The cadaverous retaliation agenda

31/05/13 || Pr0nogo

THE CADAVEROUS RETALIATION AGENDA

Judas.

For the past few months, I’ve attempted to sit down and write a review for this record. I’ve attempted to write out my thoughts while listening to the music composed by the Lord, and vocalized by J and Ruby. It’s been a long few months, though, and up until today, I hadn’t been able to muster up the audacity to put this album’s qualities to words. I really did feel like I would be doing it an injustice, attempting to tame the proverbial beast and sculpt a textual description of the required immensity. The truth is that you can not accurately describe “The Cadaverous Retaliation Agenda“. I can’t, anyways. I’m almost certainly not qualified nor able to express how the music is. I can certainly describe it in a mechanical sense – putting to words the complexity or simplicity of the guitarwork or the vocals is a downright easy task that anyone should be able to pull off – but I certainly can’t tell you what it does to me. How this album makes me feel is exactly why I took on the responsibility of writing a review for it: it’s a special kind of emotion that, as I later found out, I can’t describe to you. I now realize that my outlook on that reality was completely wrong. I can’t tell you how it makes me feel, but I shouldn’t even be trying to tell you that. What makes this record important for me is completely irrelevant to how someone else feels about the record. Make of that what you will, but I deemed that revelation important enough to dedicate an entire paragraph ranting about it. All I ask is that you keep that in mind as we go on.

We command you to go back, to where you came from. We command you to kill, and kill, and kill, and kill – again.

The second thing I’d like to talk about is simply the album itself. When I review something, I have to know what the fuck I’m reviewing – simple shit that few reviewers actually remember, it seems. So, let’s do our homework: “The Cadaverous Retaliation Agenda“ is The Project Hate MCMXCIX’s ninth full-length studio album (assuming you count “Deadmarch“, which I do), composed of twelve songs and clocking in at an hour and eighteen minutes in running time. It was released on December 12th, 2012. Jörgen Sandström’s and Ruby Roque’s vocals are supplemented by Lord K’s instrumentation, with Dirk Verbeuren submitting drum tracks and Tobias Gustafsson lending his acoustic talents for the effort. Lars of Candlemass submitted some solos, as well. There are a few less-notable but still equally-important musicians whose names appear on the album (Aborted’s new guitarist included… Tunker, I think), but that’s the lineup, for what it is worth. I just gave away the next question, too, which is…

March my armies, march to victory. Annihilate me, end this Christ insanity.

How much is it worth? Well, if you haven’t listened to the album yet, go place the order while you read onwards. You’ve missed out: “The Cadaverous Retaliation Agenda“ is a fantastic record, and your average listen on the bus may very well involve the fabulous hyperbole of a three-headed and four-dicked demon dragon from Satan’s backyard tearing the puny public transportation vehicle in half, consuming the operator, and shitting out an entire goat minus its head, all while J screams “I AM HELL!” to beautifully juxtapose the entire situation. My advice is to only listen to this album while at church – preferably a Catholic one. I remember the first time I made the mistake of listening to this album while enjoying a shitting session on my porcelain throne, and had to fight off Lucifer’s iron cockrod with nothing but a shit-covered hand and a shit-covered plunger. My toilet was completely shattered by the end of that day, but I just told my mum that I dropped a Nokia in there and she was fine with it.

We’re breaking their will and send them to hell. We’re breaking their spirits and bid them farewell. Salvation at hand, kill at command.

But since I can’t in good conscious write an entire review in hyperbole, let’s talk about this record as if it were any other record: mechanically! I mentioned J’s vocals in the last paragraph, and his blasphemous words are scrawled all around the review, so I might as well start there. Now he might be offended by the use of such a flowery word, but his vocals are nothing but beautiful in this album. It’s one thing to say that he is simply one of the best metal vocalists I can think of, and that his vocals are one of the three things about this record that has kept me listening to it since its release. It’s another thing entirely to say that his screams are the only screams for this album. Nothing else would have worked: no other vocalist could have done what J did for “The Cadaverous Retaliation Agenda“. From his incredible introduction in “I Feed You the Flesh of Your Poisonous Christ” to his stellar outro in “Carving Out the Tongues Which Speak of Salvation”, his performance as the lead vocalist is not only top-notch, but also the sole performance qualified for the rest of the mix. It’s not to say that no vocalist could do a better job, but simply to reiterate the fact that J is the only vocalist that works for The Project Hate. Anyone else would simply not jive with the rest of the outfit. With J, everything clicks: his immensely-powerful growls and his deep, bellowing screams are what make the most memorable moments of this record memorable to begin with. To J, I say: hats off, sir. I can’t take my hat off, though, since that’s all I’m wearing – and you never write a review when you’re nakey.

Heaven is dead, and so are your words. A sheep in the herd, retaliation absurd.

Let’s not forget the queen of Hell herself, though. The other vocalist of The Project Hate presents herself in a slightly-cleaner manner than J does, if you catch my drift. Ruby Roque, the clean vocalist of the Project, is no less terrifying (and mesmerizing) than the harsh vocalist. In fact, I would argue that her vocalization of the album’s final lyrics is the most epic set of vocals on the record. Her ability to peak at such unholy notes is nothing short of incredible, and her range is tuned perfectly for the blasphemous and heretical themes exemplified within “The Cadaverous Retaliation Agenda“. When Ruby’s voice isn’t occupied with the arduous task of belting out Satan’s higher-pitched edicts, she’s rousing blasphemy (and my dick) from its slumber with her lower vocals. Her technique is rendered even more impressive by her lasting presence: she takes the stage when she sings, and you’ll notice it as you listen. Or maybe I only noticed it because I like women. Either way, The Project Hate MCMXCIX has two incredibly-talented and well-performing vocalists in their repertoire, and they are both equally responsible for this record’s aggression. It’s important to note, though, that the vocalists’ talent is only one part of why “The Cadaverous Retaliation Agenda“ is as amazing as it is: it’s their dedication that brought this album to new heights of immensity. You might find individual talent in your average band, but odds are, you won’t find the dedication to give all they have to the project. Ruby and J gave all they had, and it shows.

Ripping through the flesh of the trinity, we rape Mother Mary, ending her virginity. This carnage eternal is my eternal home, tearing through the core of His majesty.

Dirk Verbeuren, you’re next. Remember when I mentioned him earlier as that guy who supplied drum tracks? Well, that’s him. He’s also the drummer for both Soilwork and Scarve. Recognize him now? I certainly hope you do. Dirk, let me get this out of the way first: you’re the man. THE, fucking, MAN. Your drumming punctuates every beat of this album in a way that befits the reiteration of that long and unnecessary “nobody else would do this the right way” rant that I wrote about J’s vocals. Those technical kiddies who only love Fleshgod Apocalypse for their speed (as opposed to, oh I dunno, their musical talent) might not be “impressed” by your work, but the control you exercise and the mastery you demonstrate over your instrument is second to none. I’m not much of a Soilwork fan, but your drum tracks on “The Cadaverous Retaliation Agenda“ fucking slay. It’s not because of speed or power, but mere presence: Dirk’s blast beats in particular showcase this very well. His drumming is all-consuming, and when the speed kicks up, you can hear him blasting away on his kit, slamming your ears over and over again with unabashed ferocity. From the blast beats to the steady grooves, Dirk’s performance is intentionally crafted to serve as background noise, allowing you to focus on the vocals and the guitars. That presence I was talking about is the sound floor of the album, which the rest of the mix stands upon. His drumming literally boosts the rest of the record. I know this is partly because of the way his drumming was mastered, but the effect it has on the overall sound of the album is simply phenomenal. From start to finish, it’s brilliant.

The Judas Agenda.

Well, that’s that. Huh, I feel like I forgot someone. I wonder why…

Just fuckin’ with you, Kentha. The face of the album (and I don’t mean that dead angel roasting on a cross) – and, in fact, the entire rest of the album – is none other than Lord K. Philipson himself. He orchestrated the guest musicians. He programmed the synth. He composed the instrumentation. He recorded the basswork, the keyboards, the backing vocals, and the extraneous guitarwork. He produced the album. As far as I’m concerned, ladies and gents, K IS the fucking album, and he does an absolutely fantastic fucking job. Every bit of instrumentation, every meticulous edit, every strum of the bass, every layered vocal, and every last fucking synth… K did it. He put it all together, he made it all happen. He is Hell, fuckers, and Hell doesn’t settle for less. The Lord scoured the hills of Scandinavia in search of J – the perfect vocalist for his Project. Then he fucked off to Portugal for a vacation and brought back Ruby – the other perfect vocalist for his Project. Then K got really, really, really mad, and stuffed that Hate into his Project, along with a buncha shit from other people like Dirk and Lars. Suddenly, by some miracle (heh), they released “The Cadaverous Retaliation Agenda“, complete with synth, keyboards, and all that gay shit, and it scored a 100 out of 10 from this guy five months after the fact because I’m a dickhead. You get me now, Haters? Add that shit to Wikipedia, because it’s truer than 9/11. Words cannot do this album justice: only listening to it can. Descriptions cannot describe this album properly: only listening to it can. Hyperbole cannot express what this album actually is: only listening to it can. So there’s my fuckin’ review. Listen to the album and tell me how right I am. Then suck K’s dick because he deserves 69 sluts in Hell after delivering this record to us. You think I’m joking? Listen to the fucking album!

100/10 because fuck you.

Information
Released: 2012
Label: Self-released
Website: www.theprojecthate.net
Band
Jörgen Sandström: vocals
Ruby Roque: vocals
Tobias Gustafsson: acoustic guitars
Lord K. Philipson: guitars, bass, keyboards, programming, backing vocals, producer
Dirk Verbeuren: drums

Tracklist
01. DCLXI
02. I feed you the flesh of your poisonous Christ
03. DCLXII
04. We watch in silence as the Earth turns to blood
05. DCLXIII
06. Conquering the throne of the cadaverous
07. DCLXIV
08. The great retaliation is upon them
09. DCLXV
10. Carving out the tongues which speak of salvation
11. DCLXVI
12. The Judas agenda

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